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Bush libs #5 - Fun With News
by robert karimi, 6/26/03

I read the news that President Bush is threatening inspections in Iran, and my eyes spun. I don't care if they inspect Iran. Please, go ahead. I shape my hands with two fingers in peace and say like a peacenik from the 60s, "No nukes, man. No nukes."

Like the Wheel of Fortune, Bush's foreign policy aims its sights on whereever the wheel stops to improve the reelection of the Bush machine. Next, Iran. And afterwards, North Korea. Or maybe Jordan. Or maybe anywhere Bush can avert the nation's eyes from the real problem this country faces: an economy that is plummeting like Governor Gray Davis' popularity ratings in California.

The whole issue of Iran is fascinating because of the mythological attachment it has for many Americans because of the seizure of the U.S. embassy in 1979. Just earlier this week, I heard a Ayatollah Khomeini joke. And we are in 2003, and Khomeini is physically dead. But not in the public's consciousness. The demon named Iran is alive, and the Bush administration is using it, just like it used the Old Testament to justify their attack on Afghanistan. They know we know the Bible better than we know the politics of the region.

Think about it: How well do Americans really know the history of the political climate of Iran or any other country in the region? How many Americans are just consuming news/analyst about the region like pigs in a trough because the word "nuclear" or "Al-Qaeda" or "pro-Fundamentalist" is used ina sentence?

And the media is falling in step with Bush's plan. Just writing what he says as it is truth. The reputation of journalism and the presidency are at stake. Never before have the words of both insitutions felt like templates: repetitive frameworks of writing that can just be interchanged with different proper nouns, adjectives, country names, etc. whenever Bush changes countries. The conservative attack on the media, with name calling (the darn "Liberal" media) and cries of nationalism mixed with platonic logic (If you are against the war, you are against the soldiers; therefore if you are against Bush's foreign policy, you are against the soldiers, too.), have worked to limit print, radio, and TV journalism.

To prove my point about the state of journalism and the presidency, and for hours of fun and family entertainment, I have constructed Bush libs- a take on a very wonderful American invention.

Below is a Bush lib, taken from an actual article written in the newspaper this week. Print it out. Play with your friends. If you have never played Mad Libs before check out the directions below before you start.

DIRECTIONS: To play Bush Libs. Print out your Bush Lib. Get another person (or a whole group). To start, hold your Bush Lib in your hand with the text away from the person (or group). Then, ask the individual(s) the part of speech to fill in the blank. When all blanks are filled, read your Bush Lib aloud. All parts of sppech are in bold. If the part of speech is bold and italic, use the same answer as the previous blank.

Remember, don't tell your partner (s) what's goingon with story, and definitely have fun. Remind your partners who are giving the answers to be zany, silly. Be imaginative. Mad Libs are powerful and potentially hella funny when the individual(s) have fun with their answers. Note to readers: They almost got me expelled from elementary school, but that's the beginning of another story.

FUN WITH NEWS
“The international community must ________________(verb) to make it very _____________(adjective) to ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) that we will not tolerate the construction of _________________(weapon of mass destruction) in ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation),” said President Bush. “There’s near-universal agreement that we all must work together to __________(verb) ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) from developing a nuclear ________________(plural noun).”

___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) Ambassador _____________________ (fictional character) rejected allegations that his government had failed to honor _____________ (plural noun) made under the ______________ (name of treaty), which was designed to stop the spread of _____________________ (weapon of mass destruction,plural).

“___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) considers the _________________(noun+-tion), the development and use of nuclear _________________ (plural noun) inhuman, _________________ (adjective), ________________(adjective), and against its very _____________ (plural noun),” __________________(fictional character) told the IAEA. “They have no place in ___________________’s (Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) defensive _______________ (body part).

The Bush Administration _____________(verb + -ed) these statements, noting that ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) is rich in ____________(commodity traded on futures market), oil, and ____________ (plural noun) and does not need additional power ____________________ (plural noun).

In making its case that ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) represents a ______________(adjective) threat, the Bush administration relies on the same _____________(plural noun) it used to justify a military ______________(noun +-tion) of Iraq: That ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) is run by Anti-U.S. _________________ (plural noun), is developing nuclear ___________________ (plural noun) and supports terrorist _______________ (body part, plural), including Al-Qaeda.

For more than a week _______(a number over 99) of student-led protestors have been _______________(verb+-ing) with pro-clergy _____________(plural noun) in ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation), resulting in _________ (number) of injuries and arrest.

But Bush said he has already ____________(verb ending in –ed) the situation in ___________________(Middle Eastern nation or any other rogue nation) with a number of World __________(plural noun) including _______________ (World leader), president of _______________(nation in Europe or Austrailian area), and was encouraged by the response.